Turning into your mother? Here’s the checklist.

1) It’s pouring with rain again. You say: Good for the garden!

2) You end any sentence with the phrase: Mark My Words.

3)You feel ridiculously up-beat when you hear The Archers theme tune.

4)You listen to Radio 4.

5) You crave a G&T from 4pm. Make that 11am.

6) You hand someone back the Toffee Crisp wrapper they have carelessly tossed on the ground. ( Yes, you naughty no. 41 bus driver, I mean you.)

7) You admire your mother’s sandals. Zara? “No, they’re Clarks! Very reasonable! Only £29.99”

8) You inform people that your home is not in fact a hotel.

9) You have used saliva and a finger to clean smears of indiscriminate origin off someone’s face.

10) You are going to Clarks tomorrow.

Tick 3 or more of these and the inevitable has happened. G&T?

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