So anyway, when I was at Band Camp, sorry, I mean Netflix HQ, one of the uber techies was showing us his recently viewed films on a huge projector board thing. And what should pop up on the screen? My worst nightmare. Come true. Literally. The film in question was Strippers Vs Werewolves. Not that spine chilling you may think, unless that is you happen to have inadvertently wandered onto the set of said film whilst in charge of four small children.
“Please can we go to the swings on the way home from school? Please mummy?’
"Oh alright then.”
There we were playing merrily on the roundabouts and swings when out of the corner of my eye I saw something that curdled my blood. A man with matted hair and blood oozing down his face, a man with fangs and glazed bloodshot eyes. I let out a scream and pulled my brood toward me, desperately covering their eyes. Then I saw the film crew and Johnny Allen from Eastenders laughing and some heavy on the eyeliner women in raincoats…
This film is not for children
Right next to a playground!!! For Goodness Sake!!! The miracle is that this film, made on an estate in London actually made it onto the screen. People like this stuff.
Anyway, back to Band Camp. The great news is that children will never have to wander into such inappropriate territory again, at least metaphorically speaking. Netflix has just launched a dedicated Family section www.netflix.co.uk/families so that your kids can navigate through titles that don’t have strippers,werewolves or Johnny Allen in them. We just watched The Rescuers and jolly lovely it was too.
These films are for children
(Technically speaking this is a sponsored post – Netflix flew me to Silicon Valley and plied me with treats. Did I mention that already? Oh, sorry.)