My mum has just called me to have a rant. Why? Because I am too difficult to buy a present for. Not only has she failed to grasp the concept of the SECRET Santa present policy that our family has adopted this year but I now feel guilty that my formerly anonymous Claus has been pounding up and down Oxford Street and is probably being administered with smelling salts in the John Lewis cafe at this very moment. I tried to make it easy for her by saying gardening vouchers! Apparently this is not exciting enough. Will these exquisite things do?