Oh god, I’m like Rip Van Winkel. How did I wake up so bloody old today? This is how I know it’s time to bring my waistband up to my bosom and start flossing. No really, I must start flossing.
1) I did my back in over Christmas. What a codger.
2) I have been eyeing up the plastic, in shower, feet exfoliating, multi bristle shoes on sale at our local garage that carry the strapline ‘no need to ever bend over in the shower again’.
3) I really want to see Quartet.
4) I work with people who have never heard of Allo Allo.
5) If I pulled out all my grey hairs I would have male pattern balding.
6) I am attracted to male pattern balding.
7) I thought Splash was that nice film with Daryl Hannah. Hugely disappointed to tune in and find a nubile young man in trunks
8) I say tune in
9)My Children won’t let me dance anymore