When it’s chilly you have NIPPLES LIKE BULLETS.
You can’t brush your teeth without gagging a bit.
Your skin is so dry you leave a trail of ash wherever you go.
You suffer from narcolepsy.
Your favourite expensive foundation
suddenly makes your skin break out.
You cannot read Metro on the tube without
crying – even the cartoon section.
Laughter may segue inexplicably into
hysterical crying.
One week after unprotected sex you’re wearing smocks and empire line tops.
When it’s warm out you have NIPPLES LIKE
BULLETS.
