1. You try to remove the make-up smudges from underneath your eyes with a baby wipe only to realise that THEY ARE PERMANENT shadows.
2. You finally manage to wrestle your thrashing electric eel baby onto a nappy only to realise it’s upside down and you have start the whole procedure again.
3. In spite of changing hundreds of them, you cannot for the life of you remember which way round the poppers go on the gusset of a vest.
4. You forget to screw the bottle lid on properly and your baby is soaked with milk prompting an entire middle of the night outfit change.
5. YOU ARE BORING. You cannot stop talking about sleep and how to get it. You bore yourself senseless at any social event by asking every mother you meet for advice. You swear you won’t bring up the topic of sleep with the next person you speak to but…
6. You’re playing princesses with your kids and forget that you’re wearing a full Katy Price/ bishop’s hat style tiara which you then unwittingly wear to the supermarket. (this could just be general forgetfulness)
7. You’re on
the bus rocking your screaming baby in the buggy, desperately trying to soothe
him and somewhere in the back of your mind you’re aware that someone is
repeatedly and very annoyingly ringing the bell. The driver stops the bus, gets
out of his cabin and asks you to stop banging the bell with your buggy. Cue
death stares from whole bus.
This list is taken from a longer piece I wrote about the difficult and drawn out chapter of living with a baby who won’t sleep for mother and baby brand Bloom and Blossom. If you’re looking for moral support check out their fab blog for the full article.